literature

Dark Flames ch. 4

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Irene and Adam both left as soon as they could, Irene wanted to avoid the upcoming drama as soon as possible. Her parents’ fights were no fun at all because she was always in the middle of the whole thing. “So… where are we going now?”

“Well, I thought we could go and have breakfast, there’s a nice place on the beach.”

“Sounds nice.” She said looking up at him with a bright smile on her face. He seemed to be rather nice. She couldn’t tell if he was her type at all yet, maybe they had things in common, maybe not. She would have to wait and see.

The walk to the said place was a silent one, they both enjoyed the sound of the waves and the morning sunlight on their skin. The mornings in Lullin were always like this, silent and with only a few people walking around the town. After all it was a small town and many people preferred to stay inside with their families.

Once they got there they found a table away from most people and ordered their food.  The place looked really nice, there weren’t too many people, the menu looked delicious and the sound of the waves combined with the music a fairy was playing at the harp in a corner were making quite a pleasurable atmosphere.

“So, tell me more about you. I know little to nothing about you after all.” Irene said with a chuckle before bringing the glass of wine to her lips.

“I could say the same about you. Anyway, I’m not entirely an interesting person at all. All I do is read, study, practice magic, work out a little and sometimes go out with friends.”

“My life is almost the same, except for the friends part. Most of the people in this town tend to avoid me quite a lot.”

“Because of your magic?”

“Mainly because of that… but I can’t say I’m the most social person ever.” She said with a chuckle as she looked down at her food. “And anyway, it’s much better to have a few good friends.”

“You are right, but still people have no reason to avoid you at all. From what I’ve heard from my mother you have only a little bit of darkness in your magic, it won’t get to your soul at all.” Irene had known there was something wrong with her magic since the first day she used it. She had fire magic, but her flames weren’t orange like her father’s, they were a dark purple and it was obvious that there was darkness in her magic. People in Lullin always tried to stay away from her, they always thought she would become a demon one day, but it was far too little darkness to touch her heart and soul, and there was no chance for her to become a demon… unless another demon decided to show up in her life. “And all demons are dead or locked away without any powers, you’re safe.”

She smiled as she picked up her glass again. “I guess you’re right. No demons around anymore, no reasons to be scared.”
---------

The streets of the capital were slowly starting to empty. The people were either going home or to a tavern or party where they would spend the rest of the night. Celest was lying down in her bed looking up at the marble ceiling. Her bedroom was big, the cold floor was covered with white soft carpets. The king sized bed was covered with white silk sheets, decorated with light pink embroideries. The walls had all sorts of paintings on them and the furniture was white with silver and pink decorations.

The room was usually lit by candles at night before she would go to bed. She let out a soft sigh as she turned on her side. As soon as her head turned around her eyes suddenly widened and she quickly stood up. A few of the candles’ flames were black, and this could only mean one thing. “No way…” Her voice came out as a whisper, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing… there had been more than two hundred years since she last saw it.

“What a nice way to welcome you brother little sister.” A man’s voice echoed through the room as more flames turned black. She quickly turned her head to the balcony to see a pair of pitch black eyes looking at her and the way too familiar smirk. She was dreaming… he couldn’t be alive, she saw him die.

“Y-you’re not real…” Her hands were shaking, for the first time in years she could honestly say that she was terrified and she didn’t know if she could get out of this one.

The smirk on his face widened as he walked closer to her. “Oh, but I am real and surprised that I’ve convinced so many people that I’m actually dead.”

“But, I saw you…”

“That wasn’t me dying. That was one of my followers who would die for me. Don’t worry little sister, I won’t kill you… not today at least. I want you to tell the world that I am back, that the last free demon is here to conquer and most likely kill.” He brushed a few strands off black hair off his face before turning around. “And by the way, I think I might visit my niece, I’m sure she’d love to meet her uncle.” He stepped to the balcony closing the doors behind him, and with that he was gone.

Celest jumped out of her bed as soon as the doors closed behind him and ran out of the bedroom. Luckily one of the maids was not too far from there. “Ava, get a messenger fairy I need to send a letter immediately.”

“Of course, ma’am. Where do you need to send the letter?”

“To Lullin, now hurry it’s important.” The maid nodded and ran as fast as she could to get a messenger fairy as Celest asked.

From the other side of the hall Kae was approaching Celest, half asleep and confused by everything that was happening. “Celest what’s going on? It’s the middle of the night.”

“He’s back.” She said looking down at the marble floor as she wrapped her arms around herself. Kae was the only one who knew how Celest was, from the inside to the outside. And although the broke up a long time ago, he was still her friend and she wasn’t afraid to show him her true emotions. “My step-brother is back.”

“Wait… wasn’t he dead? You saw Kitty stabbing him, I saw it.” She sighed and gripped his hand pulling him to her bedroom.

All the candles in the room had black flames. The only source of light left was the moon. “Does it look like he’s dead?”

His eyes widened at the sight, it was hard to believe although it was right before his eyes. “If I were you, I’d put more guards in the prison, he’ll probably try to set free the other demons left.”

“Our priority is Irene, we can’t let him get to her before us… if he does, everything will be lost, and we won’t have a chance against him. Her magic is strong, too strong.” He nodded his hand slowly going down to her touching just her fingertips. She quickly took it away from him, turning her head the other way. “I trust you when it comes to politics, war and anything else among those lines, but I can’t trust you with my heart. You’ve broken it once, I’m not gonna let you do it again.”

“Celest… I know that what I did was wrong, but I’m not the same person anymore. I’m not that arrogant prince…”

“That’s right, now you’re an arrogant king.” She didn’t want to admit it but she had to, she still cared about him, she never stopped loving him, but her mind was telling her not to trust him again. “If you want me to say it, then fine. I still love you, you’re the only man I’ve ever loved. But, there’s that little voice inside my head telling me not to trust you again. And I feel like I should listen to that voice at least once in my life.”

He stood there silent for a few moments before leaning down to take her hand. This time she didn’t take it away from him, she wanted to, but she couldn’t. “Please, give me one last chance Celest. We had so many plans, we were so happy. I know what I did was stupid, but I want that back, I want you back.”

A tear trailed down her face. She wanted those moments back too, she wanted him back. After she left him she had never been truly happy, her life was empty without him. “If I give you a second chance, will you promise me that you’ll always be by my side and you’ll never leave me?”

Kae walked closer to her and wrapped his arms around her small frame. “I swear it to you. I’ll never leave you and never hurt you ever again.”

“And I hope you realize that if I see you with another woman ever again you’ll be a dead king.”

A small smile appeared on his face, that was the Celest he knew and loved so much and he hoped she would never change. He knew she probably still didn’t fully trust him, but they were starting somewhere and that was the important thing.

After a few more minutes Ava was back with a messenger fairy as Celest asked. She quickly wrote her letter and made sure it would get there as fast as possible. The letter was short and simple; she would go to pick up Irene and whoever will come with her first thing in the morning. She didn’t say why, after all she didn’t want Sebastian to worry too much.

 

And after 3 weeks of waiting, chapter 4 is here. I wanted to make it longer but I didn't have that many ideas. Anyway, things are getting rather interesting and from now there'll be more stuff and characters to write. Also you might wonder 'who the hell is Kitty?', well she's a really badass character that I'll introduce in the next chapter.

My exams will be over the next week and I'll finally be able to write more, so this means faster update :D

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RhiannonOeuvre's avatar
:wave: Hello again!

This story of yours is starting to heat up (no pun intended). I love it! I can see now why it's called Dark Flames Failed idea 

Again, just a couple of critiques.
I found a couple of sets of repeated information this time, the first being the number of people around Irene and Adam.
"Once they got there they found a table away from most people and ordered their food."
To me, this line sounds like there are lots of people around them. Changing this to 'the few people' or 'they sat away from the small group of friends/the couple'.

"The place looked really nice, there weren’t too many people..."
Repeated information from the paragraph beforehand when you said there were only a few people walking around and also from the paragraph above.

The other one is when Celest is talking to the king.
“That’s right, now you’re an arrogant king.” She didn’t want to admit it but she had to, she still cared about him, she never stopped loving him, but her mind was telling her not to trust him again. “If you want me to say it, then fine. I still love you, you’re the only man I’ve ever loved. But, there’s that little voice inside my head telling me not to trust you again. And I feel like I should listen to that voice at least once in my life.”
The information underlined should be deleted because I think it's more powerful and more realistic that she says it to him, rather than thinking it first.

Second, this is not really a critique but more of a separation of your paragraphs. Try rewriting your second to last paragraph before the break like this:
“You are right, but still people have no reason to avoid you at all. From what I’ve heard from my mother you have only a little bit of darkness in your magic, it won’t get to your soul at all. And all demons are dead or locked away without any powers, you’re safe.”

Irene had known there was something wrong with her magic since the first day she used it. She had fire magic, but her flames weren’t orange like her father’s, they were a dark purple and it was obvious that there was darkness in her magic. People in Lullin always tried to stay away from her, they always thought she would become a demon one day, but it was far too little darkness to touch her heart and soul, and there was no chance for her to become a demon… unless another demon decided to show up in her life. 
This way, it splits Adam's dialogue from Irene's thoughts. Different speakers and new act The way you have it makes it seem like Adam was finishing her thought/reading her mind.

(Darn, I wrote heaps this time :O)

It's great to see you're using page breaks to change between characters and your narrative is moving smoothly now you're not giving too much information. Well done Clap If you can tell, I enjoy reading your work I am a dummy!  Good luck with your exams :D